Are you a chav or a bourgeois? Islington or Strood? You can self-diagnose quickly and easily. If you hit an old ethnic lady over the head to beat her to a £179 flat screen TV at Asda on Black Friday, you is white trash.
But if you queue patiently for a generous slice of Epoisse de Berthaut for your Christmas banquet outside the Neal’s Yard Cheese emporium, your middle class credentials are unimpeachable.
Maybe if all those workshy layabouts got lessons in cheese and wine appreciation, they’d find it easier to persuade someone to trust them with a job, eh?
Merry Christmas to all, whether your name is Emily or Jayden.